My name is Sahar and I am 20 years old. I was born into a wealthy family and I am the youngest. Since I was a child my parents fought. Therefore, they decided to separate so they both started living in different apartments. Very seldom did I see my father. He wanted to make up for his absence with giving me money and gifts, which were not appropriate for me as a child. I had a mobile phone since I was very young.
My mother was depressed and neither of my parents spent any time with me. They did not pay attention to me although they were spending a lot of time with my brother and sister who were older than me.
Their absence led me to seek relationships with boys and try to attract their attention. I wanted to fill the gap in my heart with their affection.
When I was 11 years old I met a guy who was 24 years old. He invited me to go to their house and smoke together. I was a child and unaware what was about to happen. When I entered his house I was faced with a disastrous situation. That guy and 11 of his friends raped me and after finishing their work, they threw me out like garbage. I will never forget that day; I was woozy and couldn’t understand what happened to me, but since then my heart was filled with depression and anger. I believed my mother was guilty for what happened. Every day was difficult. I hated myself and I felt unclean. My family also hurt me with their rebukes.
After a while I decided to shut my heart, forget myself and stop caring. My relationships and deeds were not important to me anymore. My heart was hard and I knew that, but it did not matter to me. I attempted to kill myself many times. Every time I was taken to a mental hospital. They did electric shock therapy on me five times, but it didn’t change anything for me. I ran out of there and didn’t return even though my mother insisted.
One day I was going to my friend’s home. I was tired and had no motivation to live. A lady started talking to me about God. She told me about the stories that have changed her life and I was eager to read them.
I could not believe that God loves a dirty and harlot girl like me, but her words gave me a new hope in my life.
She brought the first story to me and after reading it I felt God leading me and revealing things to me from the story, so I obeyed what I had learned. I decided to go home at decent hours and start speaking with my mother more. This little act impacted my life very much. My relationship with my mother, which has been broken for years, is much better now after that decision. My mother began wondering what happened in my life.
I have read two of these stories. I still have a bad view of myself, but I have decided to obey what I am learning and I hope God will lead me out of this dark situation.
I know God is seeing my heart and that I don’t want to stay in my sins and I don’t want to live the way I used to.
I am very excited to tell these stories to my friends and family and ask them to read and obey them. The stories have impacted my life very much even in this short period of time.